Wednesday, March 24, 2010

And today's topic is.....






















Nothin' but pictures! Writing is not the chosen form of expression this week so here's a "filler"! Hope you enjoy!






Wednesday, March 17, 2010

St. Patrick

Today is St. Patrick's Day, my second favorite holiday...and it IS a holiday. I love this day of green, I love dressing up in green clothes and green jewels, putting shamrocks on my face and beads around my neck and taking in a parade! I simply love it. It's a sense of identity in a way, but in others, leaves a hollow feeling that maybe I don't really know who I am or where I come from. St. Patrick knew though. He new who he was born to, who he was taken from, who comforted him and never left his side during his years enslaved in Ireland. He carefully planned his mission in life during his imprisonment so that when he finally escaped, he could dedicate all his remaining life to God. I often wonder what kind of man he appeared to be. What Pagan villagers thought when this stranger appeared, guided by angels, and told them the stories of Christ, how he lived, how he died, how he was resurrected, and how he would be there salvation. Think about it, if someone wandered into your house going on about how he banished all the snakes from the land, you would call the police and he would be hauled off to the nut house. But St. Patrick had a gift. St. Patrick...had God. And somehow converted an entire country to Christianity. If only, we all had St. Patrick's drive. If only we all knew the exact path we are suppose to take and exactly what we are suppose to be doing. St. Patrick was blessed beyond belief. He had the blessing of certainty.



May the road rise up to meet you.

May the wind always be at your back.

May the sun shine warm upon your face,

and rains fall soft upon your fields.

And until we meet again,

May God hold you in the palm of His hand.

Tuesday, March 16, 2010

Okay, so just vent for a second

I sincerely believe that in general, people are good. The world is not as overrun with bad people as we think, even though that is all we ever see or hear about via the communication tools we all carry in our pockets. In general, people are still good. I arrived at this conclusion after many long hours of wondering "why". Why I wasn't mentioned, why I wasn't invited, why I wasn't important enough, why I didn't come first, or even second, why I didn't matter, why I wasn't worth it, why no one cared, why no one helped, why no one complimented or even noticed, why, when searching for happiness, there is only hopelessness. Self pity is optional but I think, sometimes crucially important. It puts things in perspective. It brings a sense of humbleness. It makes us real, makes us feel something, even if it's bad. The same goes for anger. I don't like being angry but sometimes, it feels good to be angry. It especially feels good to do something about it, then feel bad and back to the pity party. Whatever. It's all sadly necessary to feel alive. It's purposeful, if only to force you to strive toward better things and make you appreciate them with a heart so full it could explode. Anger which leads you to humbling forgiveness. Pity which lifts you to being elated with the simple things that come unexpectedly. It's all relevant, it makes you alive. So don't feel bad about it. The payoff is extensive because I know I am worth it, even if I'm the only one who is ever brave enough to show it. Most people are good, including me.

Thursday, March 4, 2010

A list


Today is a beautiful day. I am still standing my ground on the opinion that there is no better place to wake up to in the morning, even when it's snowing or raining. That was certainly not the case today. Crystal clear blue skies, snow beaming off the peaks. Deer droppings on the stairs into my office, elk are making the morning drive, uh...eventful? There is even a hint of spring in the air today. Eves dripping, muddy boots, robins. I learned earlier in life not to take these things for granted so in spite of the hard knocks in life, I am thankful for all of it. Today as I write the sound of singing voices of people from all walks of life and all denominations are filling the halls. Sometimes I laugh at the way the sun beaming though the stained glass windows makes people's hair turn funny colors in the mornings but it is a representation of how they are different on the inside too. Yet, on this day, they have come together to pray for you, for all of you, no matter who you are, where you come from or what color your hair is.

Today, I decided to start a list. I list of names and occasions that someone said something to me that made me feel good, worthy, needed. A simple list of names and dates and nothing more. No bad things, no bad feelings, none of those instances where someone made me angry, belittled, worthless, those things aren't worth keeping track of....only good things.

Why. I started a list because I need to remember and be constantly reminded that I am not perfect but I am still worth it. Because I am often broken but worth fixing. Because I am sometimes at my worst but still deserve the best. Because that's what I'll do in return. Because I'll always accept you for who you are even when you won't do it for me. Because I know that maybe you're dealing with something I could never fathom, and maybe I am too. Because in my weakest moment I am stronger than you could ever imagine. And I am not afraid. I know that I am doing the best I can, I know I am doing good things, and I know that I am right where I want to be and things will always get better, even if they get worse beforehand. It's all part of the journey and although I may be unprepared for it now, preparedness comes out of necessity.

In the meantime, know that this small group of people is still praying....for you, for me, for everyone.

I started a list because I need to remember.
"Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait.